Home, Garden, Bath and Cleaning Products

Lemon, Lime and Grape Fruit Cleanser

 

This stuff is gorgeous! I only made up the recipe a few days ago, so I hope there are no long term side effects like fingers dropping off...shouldn't be....It really cleans grotty hands and filthy feet; it's also good to remove makeup but keep away from your eyes or broken skin as it will sting.It doesn't dry your skin out either, like soaps and detergents, and your skin smells great...but do keep it away from the stingable bits!

3 tb rolled oats or instant oats

2 tb avocado oil or virgin olive oil

3 tb bicarbonate of soda

6 tb sorbelene cream

6 tb water

a squeeze of lemon, lime or grapefruit juice

 

Rub oats between your fingers till it's powdery- only takes about a minute. Add bicarb, oil and sorbelene; mix well; add water. keep in a jar in the bathroom, with a half lemon, lime or grapefruit.

 

To use: empty a little into your palm, then squeeze on some juice. it will froth up to about three times it's size. Rub into your hands then wash off. You can also add the juice to the jar- about 6tb juice. Still works well but it will all go flat after a few hours.

 

Keep in a cool place. It has no preservatives so should be made fresh each week. If it looks or smells at all odd or looks different from yesterday throw it out.

 

P.S. Don't eat it either

Lemon Jelly Soap

 

2 saucepans, 1 large one small

1 empty liquid soap dispenser, or a detergent, shampoo or other bottle

6 cups lemon rind, fresh or dried but NOT mouldy (or lime rind, orange, mandarin or a mixture)

1 cup grated soap, either fresh or elderly

5 cups water

 

Simmer soap in 2 cups water till smooth; stir as needed.

Simmer lemon etc rind in 3 cups water , with the lid on, till the liquid is reduced to about a third of a cupful. Doesn't have to be exact. Strain out the soggy peel.

Mix the warm soap mix with the warm lemon liquid. Pour into soap or shampoo bottle. You may need to shake befoire use every now and then,in case the mixture separates a bit, but it shouldn't.

To use: squirt a little into you hand, rub in, wash off.

Note: this stuff smells delicious (do not eat it), softens your hands, and is great for cleaning off stains and grot. But if a rash develops, or you are allergic to lemon oil, stop using it!!!!

Lemon Splodge Scouring Paste

1 stick white chalk

Half cup soap flakes

6 cups oranges or lemon halves after you'd squeezed them for juice, boiled with 6 cups water till about half a cup remains.

 

Blend. Beware - it bubbles - or smash chalk with a hammer then mix by hand. Note: chalk in a blender will scratch the plastic. I use a hand blender in an old saucepan

 

Dirty stoves: leave a little detergent and water on the grot to soak for an hour before cleaning.

 

Glass tables: vinegar and a clean cloth or old newspaper windows: add a cup of meths to 1 bucket of warm water. DON'T wash on windy days or they'll streak.

 

Shower heads: 1 part white vinegar, 1 part water

 

Fly screens: put rubber gloves on; rub screens well and the grot will move to the other side. Dust it off.

 

Discoloured grout: white shoe cleaner

 

Soapy shower screens: rub with a little clear polish; wipe off; soap won't accumulate.

 

Greasy oven racks: soak in half a cup washing soda to a sink of hot water

drains : buy a plumbers mate; buy it on a busy Saturday morning so someone in the queue can tell you how to use it when you ask.

A Pot Pourri to keep away goblins, lightening, warlocks, dishonest politicians and other evils

 

1 cup marjoram leaves, dried

1 cup clary sage leaves, dried

1 cup vervain leaves, dried

1 cup bay leaves (at supermarket)

1 cup dill leaves (at supermarket)

6 cloves garlic

Leave by open windows to ward off warlocks; chimneys for the goblins and on the TV for the politicians.

 

 

A Totally Aphrodisiac Pot Pourri (would I lie to you?)

 

NB you may have to lie face first in this for it to be effective

1 cup lavender flowers, dried

2 cups Mm Alfred Periere or other very fragrant rose petals

1 cup jasmine flowers

1 cup orris root if you can get hold of it

2 sticks cinnamon bark, crumbled

1 box dark chocolates with firm centres

 

A few drops rose oil, ylang ylang oil, jasmine oil, lavender oil, or as many of these as you can be bothered with

Offer the chocs to your beloved. Mix the rest.

A Totally Fake But Very Pretty Pot Pourri

 

Place this in an elegant glass container ie wide mouthed vase, attractive bottle, glass storage jar with cork top etc

 

Mix any of the following:

 

rose hips, dried

eucalyptus buds or seed pods

whole macadamia nuts

dried red rose petals

dried calendula flowers or dried marigolds

cinnamon bark

dried lavender flowers or ANY purple flower

shreds of bark

the odd small bit of driftwood

any essential oil you like the scent of, because this lot won't smell of much at all

Jaffa Pot Pourri

 

Use the same containers as above. Make sure you put the lid on. Mix:

1 pk jaffas

1 pk smarties

1 pk coloured jelly beans

1 pk black jelly beans

10 musk sticks, broken roughly into pieces

1 pk jelly babies or other subtley colured jube like lollies

 

Unkillable Pot Pourri

 

1 attractive glass jar or shallow box

small pebbles ie milky quartz or rounded river pebbles or sea washed small rocks etc

 

Add a few drops essential oil every few weeks. The oil will be absorbed by the rocks, and then slowly evaporate.

Seed Balls

Bird tables can concentrate droppings and spread disease. Bird balls are better (no I am not making a rude joke here). The birds use bird balls as a snack, not as a major food source, so they don't depend on them, which can be dangerous if the supply is interrupted.

PS if you really want birds, provide clean cool cat-safe water. Good water is much scarcer than food!

Cooked Bird Seed Ball

This doesn't contain glue, so it really the best!

Whip 4-6 egg whites; mix in seed; press into an overproof dish, poke in a bit of coat hanger so you can tie string onto it later, and bake at a low heat (about 75C) till firm.

Glue and Seed ball

Take a mould like an old ice cream container; fill with bird seed; buy any of the glues at the newsagent that claim to be 'non toxic' and 'not soluble in water' on the label, and pour it in! Poke in a bit of coat hanger before it dries.

This is the simplest way to make a bird seed ball, but while a glue may be non toxic I'm not sure that means it's good for them!

Saucepan lid bird ball

 

Make the ball as above but make a glue of 1 cup white flour to 1 cup boiling water. Poke in coat hanger etc...but when you hang it up thread a roof on it, so it doesn't dissolve in the rain. The easiest roof is a saucepan lid without it's knob (leaves a convenient hole to thread string through). Just keep a lookout for convenient bits of metal or even plastic. If necessary, drill a hole yourself. Hub caps are also good!

ps Bryan places wire netting around our bird seed balls so that the large birds can't hog it all.

Not Quite Cleopatra's moisturising cleanser

This is almost a genuine recipe - she did use a cleanser pretty much like this and she adored rose oil - even had the sails of her barge perfumed with it, so wherever she sailed people smelt roses.

 

2 tablespoons honey

2 tbsps powdered milk (or 1 cup ass's milk simmered for an hour)

1 teaspoon rose oil

2 tbsps of virgin olive oil, almond oil or avocado oil (from supermarket or health food store)

 

Heat the honey till it's runny. This should take no more than three seconds or the kitchen will be full of burnt honey fumes and your fire alarm will start screeching. Take the pan off the heat and mix in the powdered milk. (The milk doesn't dissolve as well if you don't heat the honey.) Mix in the other ingredients.

To use: smooth on and wash off.

Jackie's cleanser

3 tbsps sorbolene

1 tbsp avocado oil

a few drops of rose or lavender oil

 

Smooth on and wipe off.

Foaming Stain Remover

 

2 tbsps glycerine

2 tbsps salt

2 tbsps citric acid

2 tbsps methylated spirits

2 tbsps detergent

 

Then when its all mixed add 2 tbsps bicarbonate of soda and watch it foam.

Spoon it onto your stains, rub in well and leave till foam is discoloured and wash out. Repeat till the stain has gone. Wash and dry normally. NB Do test a bit of this in an inconspicuous place in case it fades the fabric and remember that the sooner you attack a stain, the easier it is to remove. And only use on washable fabrics!

Green Gunge

(Tiles, baths- not fibreglass- ovens, toilets)

1 tb detergent

1 tb baking powder

 

Mix

Wipe on

Spray with white vinegar; let bubble, wipe off.

Green Gunge

(Tiles, baths- not fibreglass- ovens, toilets)

1 tb detergent

1 tb baking powder

 

Mix

Wipe on

Spray with white vinegar; let bubble, wipe off.

Bath and Toilet stain remover

Use with gloves, goggles and a face mask!

 

6 tb white flour

6 tb white vinegar

6 tb hydrogen peroxide

 

Rub in with a soft cloth; leave overnight; scrub off with a scrubbing brush or even old toothbrush. repeat if necessary- the stain may only face a bit each time

It's much simpler to flavour honey than make jam.... esp in spring!

Bath and Toilet stain remover

Use with gloves, goggles and a face mask!

 

6 tb white flour

6 tb white vinegar

6 tb hydrogen peroxide

 

Rub in with a soft cloth; leave overnight; scrub off with a scrubbing brush or even old toothbrush. repeat if necessary- the stain may only face a bit each time

It's much simpler to flavour honey than make jam.... esp in spring!

Honey and Peppermint Hand and Foot Cream 

(Weird but it works!)

 

2 tb honey

2 tb powdered milk

2 tb avocado oil

6 tb glycerine

1 tsp peppermint oil

Heat honey till runny (about 10 seconds); take off heat; add milk and beat well; add other ingredients one by one. Store in a sealed jar.

To use: rub on; wash off. the honey helps clean all those ingrained grotty bits; the avocado oil moisturisers, and the lactic acid in the milk really does help soften horny callouses.

Toilet Water

(And no, I don't mean stuff that comes out of the loo...'toilet' was just a euphemism, like 'powder room', because a toilet room (or toilette room) was a place you spruced yourself up to face the world.and now after all those years of being polite 'toilet' has got rude connotations too)

This stuff is great for spraying on in stinking horrible hot weather to make yourself feel fresh, slightly temporarily cooler and definitely better smelling

 

You need:

1 cup lavender flowers

2 cups lemon grass leaves, chopped

half cup vodka

 

Stuff flowers, leaves and vodka in a jar; leave on a warm windowsill for three days, and shake every day.

Drain liquid out into one of those squirty bottles- either an elegant and expensive one, or just a cheap plant sprayer you bought at the supermarket if you're not trying to look glamorous.(I use the tatty plastic sort)

Add about four cups of sparkling mineral water. Bung it all in the fridge..and when you feel hot sweaty and generally disgusting, hold the squiter at arm's length, and give yourself a long slow spreading squirt.

ps if this stains your best silk blouse, do not blame me...this stuff shouldn't stain, but it might, so try it first

pps if you don't have lemon grass or lavender flowers, add a few drops of lemon grass oil and lav oil to the mineral water, and squirt that instead. But again, do check for staining...it shouldn't, but it might, and it's you're responsibility if it does!

ppps Do make sure kids don't drink it! (ie don't keep it in the fridge where kids may read the fridge) The lavender and lemon grass are okay, but the vodka isn't!

pppps And naturally don't use a sprayer that's been used with anything deadly in it.

Lemon, mint and Eucalyptus tile and Bathroom Cleanser

This smells great, and works a treat!

Ingredients:

half cup white chalk, broken into small bits

half cup Lux soap flakes

half cup bicarbonate of soda

1 teaspoon eucalyptus oil

1 teaspoon lemon grass oil, or lavender oil, or peppermint oil

3 tb glycerine

Bung everything in the blender (Do clean blender well afterwards) or place in a bowl and bash with the back of a sturdy spoon till amalgamated. Place in a wide mouthed container. Do keep the lid on when you're not using it.

To use: dab a damp sponge into the mix; scrub on; wipe off.

Foaming Stain Remover

I am extremely proud of this stuff- it works- zapped it together a few weeks ago when i was trying to get a stain out of my jumper that I'm sure wasn't there when I put it away.

 

2 tbsps glycerin

2 tbsps salt

2 tbsps citric acid

2 tbsps methylated spirits

2 tbsps detergent

Then when it's all mixed add 2 tbsps bicarbonate of soda and watch it foam.

Spoon it onto your stains, rub in well, leave till foam is discoloured and wash out.  Repeat till the stain has gone.  Wash and dry normally. NB  Do test a bit of this in an inconspicuous place in case it fades the fabric and remember that the sooner you attack a stain the easier it is to remove.  And only use on washable fabrics!

Bubble Bath

Make this in advance...

1 cup shampoo

1 teaspoon lavender oil

1 teaspoon rose oil

half a teaspoon lemon grass oil

half a teaspoon tabasco

1 cup hot water

2 cups Epsom salts

 

Melt the Epsom salts in the hot water. Add the other ingredients. Store in a bottle till needed. Use about a quarter of it per bath.

© Jackie French